Do Goblins Really Exist?

I know theyre there, I can smell them. They are the reason why your parents car doesnt start on cold days, theyre the reason why your light bulbs blow without warning, theyre the reason why John Lithgow screamed out the window of an aeroplane: Oh my god, theres something on the wing! Goblins have evolved at a dramatic rate, you can pick people out of the crowd who look like gremlins or any other type of freakish creature. To answer this question, Goblins, do exist. Ive met with a few, and interviewed them, according to them, Goblins are at war with humans, theyve done quite a lot of major blows to the human race over the centuries, one of which was placing an Ice Berg in the way of the Titanic. Another thing they did was knock the nose off the Sphinx, and they also blew up the Hindenburg. Goblins/Gremlins has many similarities, but they do different acts of sabotage. Gremlins take out machinery, like Planes and cars, while goblins act out their lives on a more, psychological level, the leaky taps, your letter box tipped over, ringing the door bell, and hiding before you answer the door. They are also responsible for 96% of prank phone calls, theyre the heavy breathers and they are darn proud of it. According to one of the Goblins Ive interviewed, theyve been up to even more interesting matters, they change the colour of road lights, like so all sides say green. Goblins are also responsible for 87% of computer viruses, you always wonder: What type of person would create viruses and just send them out everywhere? Well, it is no person, I can tell you now. Gremlins are those little parasites who make your car roll down the hill, while you were certain you put the hand brake on, midgets and the ones who mock you. You know when you walk down the street, and youre sure you heard someone call out your name, well, I can GARENE-DAMN-TEE it was a midget. Midgets are the only publicly known Goblin, they are vastly evolved race when compared to their simpler brothers. Midgets do things like, walk in the middle of the footpath and take up all the space so no one can pass, they also walk really slowly. Midgets are all part of an underground community known as: MIDSUM, which means, no matter where you are, theyll be there to annoy you. Apparently, Midgets have certain select targets in which they annoy this person until they have accomplished what they set out to do, unfortunately, this usually result in the insanity of the targeted person to arise.

So, in closing, Goblins do exist, youll probably never see one in your entire life, but theyre everywhere, they cause mayhem in today's polity structures, some even go to schools and talk average English to mock the humans without one wince of shame. They are everywhere....hiding. My advice to you is this, ignore them, just know theyre there, cause when we are ready, well fight back, but for now, dont bother to get up in the middle of the night to check that leaky tap, youll just give the little bastards their cheap satisfaction.

Do Blondes Really Have More Fun?

Its the question that plagues us, we wake up, look at ourselves in the mirror in the morning. Those of us, whose hair is brown, white, black, red, we ALL wonder, why do blondes seem to have more fun? This can now be answered, for ColdBain has yet again, wasted his hours for you, thats what he does best you know.

Last summer holidays, I was a lost sheep. Before I could even comprehend this site, I was too worried if a Cop would pick me up if I walked down the street at 3am. Thats where blonde hair dye came in. After dying my hair, I seemed to care less about everything, and I do mean care less. I figured, you know what? Ill go to a chatroom and talk for a change. I used to be afraid of them, but just then, I thought: Who cares what text on the screen thinks? Unless you are able to recognize them as people on the other side of the world, simultaneously talking in the very same chatroom, in a different time zone. So I gave it a go, and thought, yeah okay, this is alright and decided to frequent this chatroom. Another thing I noticed was, I wasnt so perfect anymore, I had just dyed my hair, converted it from its natural colour, into a colour prescribed by a consumer product. I had in-avertedly, vandalized my own head, I had graffiti it, everyone can see it now, so who really gives a sh*t if my room is un-tidy? I became boundless, I had dyed my hair, now I can run down cars. I was free from the same hair colour and was now a different colour! Is things that simple? Yes it is.

Blondes do have more fun. Not natural blondes, the high-lighter yellow blondes, the ones that really stand out. They just dont give one about their hair, who cares if they looked good with their normal hair, they wanna be blonde! People seem worked into a lifestyle with their hair. Some think: nuh, its black, I cant change it Well, dye it heaps of time and you can. People who dye their hair say: You know what? I think I may change my hair colour Its that simple, like the gorgeous buxom gals down at the harbour, I never see them use the same coloured finger-nails twice.

Blondes have more fun because, they can change, they can do it to be more free with themselves, or because they are bored, the reasons can range. For me, I had to dye my hair, it was summer, and my hair was dark, I couldn't have that. The second time I did it, it was because I was bored, so I changed my hair. Simple. And I would like to also add that girls or guys who dye their hair blonde, do not become any dumber. Its just some of these dumb girls dye their hair blonde, cause other guys go for it, so thats me people, Ive answered two unanswered questions, and by GOD therell be more.